key west - part one

i had a house in key west [to paraphrase isak dinesen]...for ten years...to which i intended to retire.  i first went to the island with tiger thouron to fish with gil drake and fell in love with the goofy aura of the place right away.  the house i found on a later visit.  it was enclosed by a wall, a fence, and backed by a canal - complete privacy - with its own - wonder of wonders - key lime tree.  it came equipped with two  gay gardeners - kenny the rake and mike the hoe - and an old rock and roller named john wells who ministered to the pool.  which reminds me, one of my great joys - right after i arrived for a visit -  was to throw a chair into the shallow end  and lie naked in the cool water contemplating the stars.  a further enhancement was the fact that the house paid for itself in rentals, only slightly diminished by annie's, my housekeeper, occasional calls, "you won't believe what i found under the bed...!"  it was, after all, key west.

one of the strangest starts to a fishing trip occurred one evening as i arrived and stepped out of my car.  around the corner of the wall came my cuban neighbor.  "senor!  senor!  come quick!"   he pulled me by the arm towards his front door.  "snake...snake...a beeg one!"  once inside a cacophony of noise nearly flattened me.  screamed spanish from all directions...a mixture of dog barks and howls and in the corner a german shepherd which had something - god knows what - at bay.  then i saw what...a huge golden python as big around as my thigh coiled tightly under a table.  "what do we do, senor?"  i shrugged my shoulders, at a loss...suddenly there appeared at the door a burly youngster waving a snake stick - a pole with a noose attached - who charged to the corner, slipped the cord over the snake's head, and yanked.  all hell broke loose with furniture and lamps flying.  the snake, of course, was nothing but an eight foot long muscle and not a particularly happy one.  it was not going quietly.  seeing there was little more i could offer, i backed towards the door.  "what will you do with it?" i asked my neighbor.  "i don't know senor.  eat it, perhaps," and he smiled tightly. 

somebody's pet released and gone feral?  it was, after all, key west.